domingo, 27 de enero de 2013
El relato del mes : Así de sencillo
Desperté con un sobresalto. La claridad del día me fue devolviendo poco a poco, todas las imágenes y todos los detalles borrados durante el corto y agitado sueño: La lluvia - mejor el chaparrón - de la tarde, el asfalto resbaladizo y brillante, multitud de paraguas abriéndose paso que se entrecruzaban, gente que corría buscando un refugio ocasional, coches que salpicaban insolentas las aceras...
Yo también iba a correr, pero me detuvieron sus ojos. Semitirado en la acera, parecía herido. Me acerqué : Estaba herido con un hilo de sangre corriendo por su cara sin afeitar.
Noté que hacía esfuerzos por levantarse, apoyándose en un banco, pero no lo conseguía. Y yo alli, parada como una estatua, empapada hasta los huesos.
Y fue un impulso. Me acerqué hasta él y le dije que quería ayudarle, que se apoyara en mi. Sus ojos - profundos pozos sin luna - me miraron un instante y un esbozo de sonrisa se truncó en una mueca de dolor.
Entramos en casa. Lavé y curé su herida, le ofrecí ropa seca, comida caliente y un calmante. No hablaba, solo me miraba y sonreía. Le hice alguna pregunta; solo un gesto incierto y la sonrisa tímida. No me entendía?... Y de pronto, cerró los ojos y se quedó profundamente dormido.
Y allí, delante de él quedé yo hecha un lío. Qué es lo que había hecho? qué hacía, sola en casa con ese, tal vez, maleante. Un vagabundo? Una de esas personas a las que siempre me habían enseñado a temer? Por qué me había comportado como una insensata, como una irresponsable?
Lo cierto era que un desconocido, quizá peligroso, dormía en mi sofá. Acaso no podía ser un desalmado, un psicópata?
Adiviné los comentarios de mis amigos, de mi familia cuando mañana se enteraran : Pero, estás loca? Sabes bien lo que has hecho? Eres sorprendente. Cómo puedes ir por la vida saltándote todas las normas? Es que eres increíble...
Sacudí mis pensamientos : Quereis callaros? Es muy fácil de entender. Llovía a mares. Estaba herido. Solo. No tenía donde cobijarse y a mi me sobra espacio: Así de sencillo.
Afuera la lluvia y el frío arreciaban. La ciudad y la noche descansaban en calles solitarias, llenas de sombras, ahogando sus últimos destellos de luz.
Me acerqué un poco mas. Seguía apaciblemente dormido. Me conmovió su aspecto desaliñado, su pelo lacio le caía sobre la frente. Indefenso. Parecía un animal herido, perdido en la mitad del bosque. Si la cara es el reflejo del alma, - y de eso estoy bastante convencida - ese hombre era totalmente inofensivo.
Pensé en algunas opciones: Llamar al hospital o a la policía municipal. Pedir a un par de amigos que vinieran a pasar la noche en casa, pero me decidí por la tercera: confíar en él y quedarme sola. Apagué la luz y entré en mi dormitorio. Mañana será otro día.
Terminé de desperezarme. Ya, un sol incipiente, asomaba con timidez. Y haciendo el menor ruido posible, me acerqué al salón. Todo estaba en silencio. Solamente una luminosidad entre azul y dorada, empujando tenaz por las persianas.
Pero el sofá estaba vacío. Una rosa blanca descansaba en el lugar donde la noche anterior, dormía ese desconocido.
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Una oportunidad a la confianza. No es fácil.
ResponderEliminarBesos, bonito relato.
Si hubiera sido un poderoso, o un banquero, se hubiera llevado el candelabro de plata. Elegiste bien.
ResponderEliminarAbrazos.
muy buen trabajo narrativo SOCO
ResponderEliminarfelicitaciones
besitos
ResponderEliminarUn final inesperado pero bellísimo. Como se lo merece la protagonista.
Siempre un placer.
ResponderEliminarYa apuntabas maneras de artista jajaja. Muy buen relato Soco, como todo lo que haces. Besos.
Me ha parecido tan tierno! Lo mejor, cuando se quedó dormido. Confianza mutua. Precioso, Soco.
ResponderEliminarUn beso enorme.
La rosa blanca contestó todas las inquietudes, y disipó todas las nubes anteriores.
ResponderEliminarAbrazoinfinito.
SIL
La rosa blanca parece indicar que no era un sueño, sino una acción bondadosa fruto de tu tierno corazón, Soco de la dulce sonrisa.
ResponderEliminarMe ha encantado el relato en prosa poética, pleno de sentimientos sinceros contrastados con obstáculos reales en tal situación.
Me voy con una hermosa visión onírica, sin antes reposar mis dedos en los blancos pétalos que te ha regalado el buen hombre. Abrazos grandes!
ResponderEliminarAsí de sencillo, deberían ser nuestras resoluciones, nuestras convicciones.
Vivimos ciegos de miedo y desconfianza.
Hermoso mensaje.
ResponderEliminarMe gusta como te desenvuelves en la narración. Sabes contar, con elegancia, naturalidad y toques muy poéticos.
Me parece un buen relato.
Si dejó una rosa blanca, era Martí.
ResponderEliminarPOESIA, NARRATIVA...EN TODO EMOCIONAS Y ATRAPAS, SOCO. ABRAZO DESDE TU CASTELAR.
ResponderEliminar¡¡que gusto leerte en prosa!. Sin embargo, la poesìa asoma sin timidez a cada rato...¡genio y figura!
ResponderEliminarAbrazos
ResponderEliminarMe ha gustado mucho ese final sorprendente y abierto, que te deja pensando. Logras un clima que atrapa y te obliga a seguir leyendo. Hay suspense, emoción e intensidad, y un buen tratamiento del tema.
Para mi un muy buen relato. Y como dice Adelfa, muy poético.
ResponderEliminarMe ha encantado tu relato, lo he vivido junto con el personaje protagonista. Es un gustazo pasar a leerte.
Besos
Pilar
Hola, Socorro:
ResponderEliminarUn corazón bueno no se fija en apariencias, simplemente sirve al prójimo sin desconfianza ni interés alguno... Muy bien, has hecho el ayudarlo.
Un abrazo.
Me pones los pelos de punta, Soco. Es precioso y sentido, generoso como tú misma y dulce como la flor que te dejó.
ResponderEliminarBesos, me reconfortas siempre ¿sabes?
Me ha gustado mucho el relato.
ResponderEliminarY además con final hermoso.
Saludos.
ResponderEliminarSí un final hermoso y simbólico llena de magia. El mensaje de amor que escasea en el mundo.
Gracias, amiga.
ResponderEliminarEnhorabuena, Soco, un relato total. Perfecto..
Gabon. Bihar arte
Un relato edificante y hermoso. Siempre van parejas estas cualidades. Y mis saludos mediterráneos para esta mujer que tan bien sabe escribir sentimientos para desalojar las pequeñas o grandes ansiedades de los que la leemos.
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ResponderEliminarMacanudo tu relato, mi poeta incansable.
Siempre encontramos en tus escritos ese factor ético que conmueve y empuja.
Con este abrazo porteño de siempre.
Fernando
Como siempre un placer leerte
ResponderEliminarUn abrazo
ResponderEliminarMe encanta el relato, el fondo y la forma. Ningún género se te resiste. Felicidades.
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